Monthly Archives: April 2012

What were you thinking…posting that?

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

 

 

 

Hi there!  I came across this article in the NYT that I found extremely interesting, yet simple in concept: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/26/fashion/for-couples-new-source-of-online-friction.html?_r=1

In a nutshell, writer , gives us examples of what seems to be happening with couples who don’t think before they post.  She mentions a boyfriend that foolishly posted a picture of his girlfriend with a beauty mudmask, a wife (who happens to be Rosanne Cash, Johnny Cash’s daughter), posted how her husband (John Leventhal, a Grammy winning musician), shouldn’t be performing in jeans he wore for three consecutive days, and a husband posting how he is fixing his roof which his wife didn’t appreciate since she felt her friend’s would think they are bragging about their wealth (in being able to afford fixing their roof in the first place)… personally, I think this last upset counterpart is a bit too sensitive.

The article pretty much raises the question on what is proper social media etiquette between couples.  It states that in today’s day and age, some would be couples need to sort this type of thing out early on in the dating stage.  I feel amazed that this “dating social media etiquette” dilemma is so notorious that it made an article in the NYT, and even more so because I felt moved to blog about it.

In my mind it is always a bad idea to tag your mate in an obviously embarrassing state, for example, the aforementioned beauty mudmask.  I also feel the same way about mocking your mates bad hygiene (three day old jeans while performing at a concert in front of your unsuspecting fans), but when it starts getting to updates on the house, that is when we start going into the grey area.  I wouldn’t even think that saying “updating kitchen” or “finally redoing the roof” would equal to someone thinking “gosh, we have some pompous neighbors”, but apparently, some people might think otherwise.

Point is, check yo-self before you wreck yo-self (and check for comment/pic approvals with your better half too).

What’s your stance on posting?  For it?  Against it?  Somewhere in between?

Which Real Househusband makes your toes curl?

Bravo Logo

Bravo Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello!  Let’s start with a couple questions: First, who doesn’t watch reality TV?  Second, what better topic to discuss than The Real Housewives reality TV franchise on Bravo?  For those that answered no, I either think you are lying or have been on sabbatical in Shimla.

And for those out there that do watch reality TV but have no idea what I am talking about, The Real Housewives empire consist of a bunch of reality shows that follow women from “privileged” lifestyles.  At least that’s what the original thought was.  Each city has its own series.  For example, there is a Real Housewives of Orange County that follow wealthy women from Orange County, Real Housewives of New York, Real Housewives of New Jersey, etc…

I love all of the shows except for Real Housewives of DC (so boring I can’t even believe it aired), and Real Housewives of Miami.  The latter was a shock because you think Miami means spicy, hot, fun…instead, it was like a sexier DC.  Miami Social was more exciting.  I’m kinda still thinking about DC, it’s not even a fun (and by fun I don’t mean politically entrenched), city to follow drama.  Sorry, I just don’t get it…wouln’t Chicago have crossed their minds first?

Back on topic…my favorites are currently Beverly Hills and New Jersey.  Beverly Hills because it seems like the ladies were tackling actual problems such as domestic abuse, drug abuse, and amazing fake eye-lashes… plus it gave me, a non-privileged housewife, a look into the biggest houses I’ve ever seen.  Helllooo Mohammad!  New Jersey is crazy… true they are a tame bunch compared to VH1’s Mobwives, but crazy non-the less.  I feel like I can relate because even though I am from New York, I always got my gas in Jersey… therefore that makes me close by proximity.

When I first heard of the show, I thought these ladies were actually housewives.  Turns out, most of them are not married.  Or if they are, they run an empire of their own (which I applaud).  Who else thought this was a shock given the title of the show?  Any-who, this past Sunday, I watched the premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey and focused not only on wives, but their manly husbands.  It got me thinking how adorable Joe Gorga is and how scary Joe Giudice is… it seems like he is sweet feeding his pet wolves out of a giant garbage can one minute, and telling his wife and daughter to shut the f@$% up the next.  Then I started thinking about the other househusbands.  Apollo from Real Housewives of Atlanta is gorgeous yet scared of lost souls in his wife’s new funeral business, while Ken from Beverly Hills is charming, because he dapper in every way (especially in his crushed purple velvet suits).  But I have to say my all time favorite is Mauricio, also from Beverly Hills.  He is family oriented, hot, and knows what seems to be about 150 languages (I exaggerate, I think it’s 3 which is still toe-curling in my book).

Who is your favorite Real Househusband and why?  Also, who is wondering what happened to Jay Mohr and his weekly Jersey recap blog?  Bring back Mohr, Andy Cohen!

What’s your type of guy?

A pack of blueberries from a organic farm co-o...

A pack of blueberries from a organic farm co-op program. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello, hello, hello!  I just ate about a pound of blueberries because I have it in my head that they are a powerful antioxidant, so I figure eating a pound of them in one shot should override the mini-chocolate bars I ate earlier.  Wish me luck.

I was thinking about my wonderful lil’ big sis this weekend because I am so excited she is coming down to Florida.  I refer to her as lil’ big sis and she conversely refers to me as big lil’ sis.  Lets just use LBS and BLS for short.  Hopefully these acronyms don’t stand for anything too unsavory in the digital world.  This is due to our age and height discrepancy.  She is a mere 5 feet, arguably 4’11” and I am around half a foot taller, yet she is a few years older than I.

So I was remembering a time when we were talking about online dates in general and where we go, what we do, and all other fun things involving encounters of dating kind.  We were comparing stories and noticed that even though we are two peas in a pod, we have completely different online dating (or really any kind of dating), styles.

LBS likes the artsy romantic that writes poems about her beauty while I always tended to go for the business type guys who had 5 year plans and verbally told me I was beautiful (poems were not necessary).  She didn’t mind going dutch while I couldn’t even comprehend the words coming out of her mouth when she told me she “split the bill”, she had dates lasting upwards of eight hours while I thought a long dinner would suffice and save me from boredom, she told me how she would meet a guy after having no phone interaction while I just thought that plain ridiculous.

I would go in cyberspace and send her what I thought were potentials and she wouldn’t even respond to them.  My LBS would continue to tell me horror stories of guys she met involving men that I didn’t send her.  After several months, one could almost imagine a cartoon bubble with a question mark above my head.  I just didn’t get it.  Then it dawned on me, we had different tastes in men.  Even though I was vetting and sending her potentials that were artsy, had witty blurbs, and even some that lived in Brooklyn, she didn’t bite.  Reason being, they had different long term goals.

When looking for a potential mate, seriously looking, I think a key thing to have in mind is what you want.  This should include more than just surface qualities such as funny, adventurous, witty, etc.  These personality traits should filter through naturally in the dating process.  ie: If the guy is a bore, most likely you will not continue to go out with him.  Qualities I am talking about should be what Patti Stanger calls “non-negotiables”.  These are qualities in your future mate that cannot be adjusted.  In addition, try to establish a rough 5 year plan.  Where do you see yourself in 5 years?  What kind of mate do you see yourself having for those 5 years?  If you really can’t answer those questions for yourself then maybe you just want to enjoy dating and living life?

As for my sister, I cannot wait till she comes down so we can exchange stories on all things in life.  Hopefully she doesn’t kick my ass over mentioning her on the web.  Oh well…thats what families are for, and ours is a doozy!

So with that said, what’s your type of guy?  Do you like blueberries?  How many did you eat today?

Online dating profile…what I did and should have done

SVU Promo

SVU Promo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey people!  I’m having a little trouble thinking of what to write about this morning.  I think it’s due to me watching way too much TV lately.  This has caused my brain to become fried and unimaginative.  In any case, after brainstorming a bit, let me talk about online profiles (in general), for this blog entry.  Every time I think back to what my profile was like, I get a little giddy.  Why?  Because I think back to the pictures I posted of what looks to be me binge-drinking and wearing next to nothing.  Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but ladies, you know you have to show a little skin in order to attract the candidates.  Now that I’m older, and like to think a little wiser, I can look back and see what I did and should have done in terms of my online dating profile and eventual meet.  Keep in mind the below is from pure memory.  When I tried getting my old profile back for comparison, turns out the site I used (match.com), can only go back 30 days.  Which annoys me just a bit because after watching Law & Order SVU reruns, I feel that they should have a computer archive that can pull up any and every thing I have ever done in my life.  No?

Here is what I can recall:

What I did: post multiple unflattering pictures of myself having a bit too much to drink

What I should have done: maybe post one, maybe two pictures with a drink in my hand so I don’t look like a bar fly

What I did: Used too many ! marks and maybe even a 🙂

What I should have done: If writing ten sentences, the maximum 🙂 and ! should not exceed two total…meaning one of each overly excited symbol

What I did: Meet guys who only posted one picture

What I should have done: Never meet anyone who only posts one picture.  This means they only have one picture of themselves where they think they look good (in their adult life)

What I did: Meet a guy with a horrible phone voice

What I should have done: Never meet anyone with a horrible phone voice.  Their voice does not deepen and get sexy in person

Even though it worked out beautifully (from editing, filtering, more editing, and sheer luck), it was a bumpy experience.

Tell me about your dating profile.  What did you and and what should you have done?  By “done” I mean posted online, or whatever you define “done” to mean 🙂

Speed-dating thoughts

King of hearts

King of hearts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello there!  I just came back from an amazing wedding in Boca Grande, Florida.  It was on this reclusive little island on the west side of the Sunshine State.  The weather was gorgeous, the food was scrumptious, and the wine flowed, almost endlessly, into my belly.  It was so fun!  Speaking of fun, how many of you went on some fun dates this weekend?  Florida was sunny as ever but I also heard my friends in NY were enjoying some 80 degree weather over the weekend.  Did any of you go on dates?  How about any speed dating events?

I have never partook in speed-dating but it seems like something fun to do.  I think anything out of the ordinary in a safe environment can be a good time.  Think about it, a bunch of similar strangers looking for love in one spot.  You don’t have to worry about rejection, being relevant for too long, or not meeting enough people.  Speed-dating allows you to meet multiple people for a set amount of time (I think it’s something like 2 minutes allotted per person), and whoever is sitting across from you is almost guaranteed to speak to you.  Sure, you might not like what they have to say, but it allows you to not ponder the “what if”.  This is a shy guys dream!  This is also a great experience for a group of girls that have trouble being approached by men when they go out to bars and lounges… which is a flashback to my prior dating life.

If someone likes you, you are notified, and if nothing comes of the event, you can go to another (possibly with a different theme).  I was recently introduced to a great business guy from Brooklyn through a mutual friend and he actually has his own speed-dating company.  He was even on mobwives.  Did I mention I absolutely looovveee mobwives?!  Anyways, here is his site for those that are interested.  And no, I am not paid to endorse, I just checked out his site and I love the way he breaks down single speed-dating events into different themes.  For instance, it can be Young Professionals, 50 and Older, Men with Accents, Fitness Speed-Dating…you get the idea.  See for yourself: www.onspeeddating.com

I want to hear the good, bad, and ugly speeddating stories you have.

What to wear on a first date

BOWL BABY, BOWL

BOWL BABY, BOWL (Photo credit: MLHS)

Hi there!  I just came back from a trip at Walgreens after picking up some wedding essentials.  Yes, I have a wedding to attend tomorrow and for that I needed some beauty supplies.  A couple of fake eyelashes and of course black liquid liner to complete the look.  Don’t worry, I did a test run before and even though they are fake (although they are made with 100% real human hair), they look natural enough on me.  This little beauty trip got me reminiscing about what I would wear on my first dates, and then that thought progressed to what others wear on their first dates.

From my own experience, when meeting these online potential love matches, I would wear something similar to what’s worn at a happy hour.  I figure flattering with an edge, at least that’s the look I was going for.  Saying that, I realize this is completely subjective.  A fitted sweater at happy hour to me might equate to clear stilettos and glitter to someone else, even further, a holiday sweater that lights up.  Even though I am referring to online dates, please feel free to include all dates in general.

Ladies, what do you wear when meeting a date for the first time?  Do you wear fake eyelashes and hair extensions?  Today that seems all the rage, plus they make everything so natural looking.  It’s almost as common as wearing mascara and a hair clip.  With that, gentlemen, what do you prefer to see your dates in?  Would a holiday sweater bother you?  Even if it lights up?  What if it sings you a song?

I remember an online date for the first time and he had on a horrible outfit.  Shallow of me, yes, but first impressions carry so much weight and it turned out his personality was just as lame (plus he looked like a bad version of the pictures he posted of himself).  He had on lightwash baggy carpenter jeans, with the little hook on the leg to hold a would be hammer, bowling shoes, and a large faded sweater with a horizontal line going across his chest.  Why would he wear that?  I much rather the generic striped business shirt and fitted jeans on a first date.  I know, this too can be construed as lame, but bowling shoes on a date are never acceptable outside of a bowling alley.  Ladies, what are your thoughts on firstdate menswear?  What do you wear?

Where do you meet, greet, and possibly eat on a first date with a stranger?

Starbucks at West Coast Plaza, Singapore

This is my attempt at a segway into places you’ve gone to eat for your first online date.  It’s a reach I know, but maybe I’m still a little comatose and not as sharp-witted as I like to pretend I am…

For those who have online dated, which should be around 1 in 5 of you (according to a match.com commercial I saw), how many of those dates were disappointing?  Probably most, right?  I know in my experience it was even a bit depressing.  I would meet guys who looked like a shorter, wider, older and much less attractive versions of themselves.  Do they not get it that we are going to see them eventually and when we do, the first thing, or second thing on our minds (because the first thing will be horror), is anger.  Anger because we don’t like being lied  to.  If someone tells me they are 5’11”, I can accept a one inch discrepancy, but when the guy turns out to be 5’7″…that’s a bit of a reach.  Guys are not the only guilty ones of fudging the truth, I heard a few ladies out there also like to mislead as well.

Now that I vented, let’s go back to our yummy discussion…food or lack there of on a first date.  When I was online dating, most guys offered to meet for dinner.  Now I hear that “coffee” or “meeting just for drinks” is all the rage.  I know, I know, busy professionals don’t want to invest too much time in a date (like a full meal), if they wind up not liking the person.  But, where is the romance?  Has online dating become so über efficient that it bypasses flirting over the bread basket to interviews at Starbucks?  Sure I’ve gone to dinners that were so boring, I had to entertain myself (by drinking a lot), and fantasize about windexing my bathroom when I got home.  But at the end of the day, you get out of the house, meet the stranger with a good phone voice, and cross him off your list…all while grabbing a bite to eat.  If anything, it’s an hour tops out of your life.  Just compare it to watching a bad rerun.  I also met a guy for coffee, and although there was no way it was a match, I felt like we both sort of swooped in, asked 20 questions, and swooped back out.  I left hungry and confused.  Did he like me?  Did he not like me?  Did I like him?  Why was he asking so many questions?  I hope no one hit my car in the parking lot.

Where do you go on a first date?