When do you spill the beans in a new relationship?

Official photograph portrait of former U.S. Pr...

Hello!  Hope everyone had a great mother’s day weekend.  What did you all do?  I made mexican walnut brownies that were delicious.  Here is the link to the recipe I used (thank you Aaron Sanchez) : http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/aaron-sanchezs-mexican-brownies-recipe/index.html

I just folded in a couple handfuls of walnuts for crunch.  I would also fold in some mini chocolate chips too, for added choco-love.

Something else I love is my rare girls night out.  Last week I went out to my favorite Ft. Lauderdale hotspot and danced till my faux leopard shoes nearly took off my toenails.  Gross yes, but not so far from the truth.  The next few days my toes were killing me.  Guess I can only dance for hours in closed-toe shoes.  So while my ladies and I were rocking, and drinking, and bopping, and guzzling glasses of white wine like the classy ladies we thought we were, one of our gang got loose, side-tracked from the group, and started talking to a guy.

Hey, fine by me.  She was single and needed to mingle (yes, I went there with the rhyming cliché).  Plus he was an energetic dancer in a blazer and fancy loafers.  The issue arose when I checked up on her.  When I joined their conversation, turns out she started spilling the beans on some personal issues with a total stranger.  The cherry on top of it all was she took Mr. Blazer’s beer too (he told her to keep it).  Note: please do not share drinks with a stranger unless you like to play roofie roulette.

So my question to you, dear blog readers, is when is saying too much really saying too much?  When are you supposed to share secrets with a stranger?  When is it appropriate to talk about not so PC aspects in your life?  When do you spill the beans?

Personally, I think it’s great to share all of yourself to any potential partner out there.  This means bring out your charm, wit, quirks, and other nuances early on in the game.  If you are divorced with 4 kids, share that, if you are a devout Buddhist, shout it to the world but have things come up organically.  If you just lost a relative, don’t say “hey my name is Joe Shmoe and my mom just died”, have that organically come up in conversation.  Or “hey, my name is Mary Doolittle and I hate anyone who doesn’t love George Bush“, no need to say it in the intro.  You want to have a friendly conversation and gently slide in the personal stuff.  Authors note: this does not apply to children.  Be proud and loud when it comes to the kids “Hey, my name is octomom and I have twenty-five children”…let him decide right then and there if he is ready for that type of commitment.  I am not a fan of sugar-coating situations, but share a little bit of banter before getting into the serious stuff (for at least the first couple of hours).

When is the best time to share personal, serious history?  First date, second date, first 5 minutes?  Let me hear your thoughts!

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