An easy way to tell if a guy is into you (even in today’s cyberspace age)

Greg Behrendt with The Reigning Monarchs

Greg Behrendt with The Reigning Monarchs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey everyone!  The other day I was watching “He’s just not that into you” on TV.  This is a movie based on comedian Greg Behrendt (who I saw live during a stand up routine and is absolutely, positively hillarrioouuusss), self help book which he co-wrote with Liz Tuccillo.  The movie summarizes if and when a guy likes you based on what he is or isn’t doing.

The thought behind it is so simple yet so genius.

You can tell if a guy (or really anyone), isn’t into you when:

  1. If a guy doesn’t call you, he’s not into you
  2. If a guy doesn’t ask for your number and in turn gives you his business card for you to call him, he’s not into you
  3. If a guy acts like a douche, he’s not into you

you get the idea.

Anyways, this movie got me reminiscing about my girlfriends and I and the crap we used to tell eachother when the guys we liked acted like jerks.  We couldn’t fathom that these guys just didn’t like us so we made up elaborate excuses justifying their douchy behavior.  The sad part was, we actually believed these lies.  We believed they “were too busy at work” or “not a phone person” when they wouldn’t call when they said they would.

A good quote to go by is:

“I’m about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”  ―    Greg Behrendt

The reminiscing I am referring to happened when text messaging first came into existence.  Nowadays, there are so many ways to get in contact by not really getting in contact.  How does anyone know who likes whom?  Right?  Wrong!  The same rules still apply.

Ladies, if a guy really likes you, he will find a way to call you and speak with you directly.  If he continues to Facebook/text/im/bbm you in lieu of having a conversation… odds are, he has a secret family stashed somewhere and it’s time to move on.

Here is a tricky question: what if the guy you like calls you but only to hang out after 9pm?  This means you are his booty call.  I may be old school, and yes, there may be some exceptions out there, but as a general rule… people usually make plans for dates (meaning at least a day ahead of time).  If a guy is calling you after the sun goes down and restaurants (as well as most delis), are closed, he just wants to play a little grab-ass.  He may want to “look at the stars under the night sky”, but he could have fed you beforehand… move on.

Ladies, have you ever been the victim of a “fake out”?  What made you get over him?

Gentlemen, have you?

Would love to hear your stories!


9 responses to “An easy way to tell if a guy is into you (even in today’s cyberspace age)

  1. I may be old-school too, but when I was online dating I tried to only get together with guys who made initial plans at least 3 days prior.

    I remember my friends and I would also make up (& believe!) crazy reasons why a guy wouldn’t call us/email us, etc. I now know for sure that if a guy is interested in you, he’ll let you know. If he does like you and doesn’t let you know, is he the type of guy you’d want to be with, anyway?

  2. While I do believe a lot of what the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” says as far as guys liking a girl and not liking a girl, I think it must be taken with a grain of salt. I don’t necessarily believe that a guy who calls you after 9pm thinks of you as a booty call. I myself am a bartender and work late hours, and even when I do have a day off, I’m not available till later usually because I have a lot to do during the day. Also, a lot of the advice given in the book is very dated; I believe that age is a huge factor in this in that this book is meant for maybe an older crowd, not so much people in their early to mid-twenties. Though this is not saying that we cannot benefit from this advice as well. I know some ladies my age who follow the advice given in the book religiously and have more often screwed themselves over than not. In my own experience, I think the book is misleading in a lot of what it says and generalizes the population, which isn’t fair. But that’s just my take on the whole thing, I still think it’s a well written book and there’s a lot to take from it. =)

    • wow… you just inspired a flashback of when i used to bartend…crazy times! you make a great point about the book demo geared towards the slightly older (or those looking for a more serious committed marriage), however, either way, i think if a guy is interested then they gotta at least call (of course depending on your availability as well). but like anything, there is no set love formula. you usually get a good feel for a person after the first 1 or 2 dates… the key is to not excuse the obvious signs (good or bad). thanks for the comment!

  3. Haha oh the world of bartending, it’s awesome to find other fellow bartenders!! I completely agree with you though, if a guy doesn’t at the very least call, then there is most definitely something wrong. I used to be that girl who would make 100 excuses for men and I’ve definitely learned my lesson over the years. Though I won’t lie, I am somewhat dealing with this situation right now…only he has told me why he isn’t calling me and it’s for a silly reason really, one based out of insecurity. Still not an excuse though. Love your blog so far, excited to see more!! =)

  4. This is a great and thoughtful article. Having been a bartender, AND being currently involved in local theater (also a late-night pursuit), I totally understand the caveats about what a respectable time to call is. Given my personal life, I find that when a guy is REALLY interested he’ll ask me to let him know when a good time to call is. It tells me two things: 1. He’s interested enough to want to call. 2. He’s REALLY interested enough to want to call me when I won’t be rushed/tired/busy and will have the time to have a conversation.

  5. Pingback: What happens after a GOOD fiirst date? | How to Online Date

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