Hola! For those that read my previous post, our neighbor just informed us he has bees in his walls. Sheesh… if it’s not mutant cockroaches, rats, or termites, it’s bees. Yes, still venting cause I’m still a little steamed… but also because I think it makes for a nice segway into todays blog topic: The Debbie Downers of online dating.
Time and time again I’ve come across pseudo as well as just plain angry rants on people’s profiles. This holds true for both men and women. As stated previously, I not only man hunt for my single ladies out there, I also check out their fellow female competition. I read things like: “not looking for a slut”, “no cheaters allowed”, “no drug addicts, please”, and the like. Why would anyone take the time to write that?
Isn’t it obvious you aren’t looking for a slut? And even if you think by writing a no slut request in your blurb is going to stop them (hoochie mamas), from contacting you, chances are it won’t because just like stupid (or dim, stupid’s a little harsh) people don’t realize they’re stupid (dim, dim…hate that word but felt it made more of an impact), sluts don’t realize they are slutty.
The same holds true for “no cheaters allowed”. Cheaters have no morals when it comes to lying. In fact, the word cheater is defined as A person who acts dishonestly in order to gain an advantage.(Thank you Wiki). If a person is in fact a cheater, they will not stop contacting you because you wrote you did not want a cheater. If you are to their liking, they will act dishonest, tell you they are valiant, true, and of course have been cheated on themselves “so they would never even think of cheating”, in order to get what they want. (Haven’t we all heard that line)? It’s part of who they are.
And the “no drug addicts, please” request… yes, noted… you do not want a drug addict to contact you. Good point.
When writing statements like the above, it tells fellow online perspectives out there that you have been hurt by either a slut, cheater, or drug addict… or a slutty drug addict who cheated on you. But most importantly, it subconsciously tells the reader that you are still hurt by your last relationship and that you are still bitter about it. Maybe too bitter to go out with??
Bottom line is, we’ve all been hurt, but the key thing is that we learn from our experience and move on. No sense in rehashing the past. Also, no sense in stating the obvious things that you don’t want in a mate.
And while we’re on the subject, I see a lot of debbie downer statements too. Like, “I’ve been hurt and online dating is my last resort”, “I’m just a nice guy that can’t seem to find the right girl out there”… “I can’t find a good girl that will take me seriously”… When most people go online, it’s usually after them not meeting anyone worth their while in person. That is the beauty of online dating, you all are pretty much in the same boat so no need to write out the obvious. Instead, follow the below:
- Write a little about yourself and your hobbies
- Write a little about who you are looking to date
- Leave out all negative statements… even little things. You can tell her “I hate to read” in person and have her react to it then… that way you can keep it in context. ie You hate to read books… but love reading nutritional information on the back of cereal boxes? You hate to read historical novels…but love to read Wired magazine? You hate to read online dating blogs… but love to paint nudes??
When looking at hundreds of profiles at a time, you want yours to stand out in a good way.
What are some statements that turned you off to a profile? Would love to hear your thoughts/comments!
- Woke Up with Debbie Downer (fibromodem.wordpress.com)
- Don’t be a Debbie Downer (theabbiagency.wordpress.com)
- Direct from my desk – week 20 (girldontbestupid.wordpress.com)
- #FAIL: 3 Things We Wish Men Would Leave Off Their Online Dating Profiles (clutchmagonline.com)
- online dating, does it work? (inspired-weightloss.com)
- Finding a Boyfriend Through Online Dating, Week 3 [One Month Challenge] (collegecandy.com)
- How Women Successfully Use Online Dating to find a man (lifescomplicated42.wordpress.com)
- Online dating – awesome or awful? (girldontbestupid.wordpress.com)
- Is Your Online Dating Profile For Sale? (gizmodo.com.au)
- Online Dating: The Good, The Bad, and The Just Plain Ugly (howtowithcourtney.com)
- Expert Tips on How to Build a Online Profile Ready for Dating (prweb.com)
- Why Women Make Better Cheaters Than Men – Forbes (forbes.com)
- Bad reactions to online dating…and how to overcome them (howtoonlinedate.wordpress.com)