Hola! Figured this blog should talk about what to do after a good date. After going on endless hapless dates, you actually go on a good one and are faced with the “what now?” dilemma. You were so comfortable in your “I only attract morons” rut and someone totally unexpected threw you for a loop. You could be thinking many things at this stage. Your thought process during the date probably went something like this:
Meeting them you were probably like “wow, he actually looks exactly like the pics he posted” (of course this is aimed at my online dating crew… or the “I met him when I was blitzed at Paddy’s Pub and gave him my number… totally forgot what he looked like” crew.. this first date inner dialogue fits both scenarios.
Throughout the entire (or most), of the date you find yourself engaging in mutually beneficial conversation, even laughing at things your date says/does that are funny… which is very different from uncomfortable laughter derived from long awkward silences… followed by rapid drinking to numb the pain
Whats this, no sneak peek at the boobs? geared towards the ladies out there. Most women consciously and subconsciously test each guy they are dating, especially on the first date and see if they are man enough to control their eyeballs… Men, some of your first dates may sneak a peak at your boobs, but in all fairness, your boobs were probably looking at your date first
He isn’t looking at the hot girl that just passed by?
Am I laughing again?
Did he just ask me how my day went?
Holy crap, he didn’t ask me to split the bill… gentlemen, this is a must on the first few dates. I’m all about women’s lib but still would like to be courted…and the truth is, most women I’ve met feel the same so please take note and maybe you’ll have a second date.
You go home. Is he supposed to text to see if you arrived safely? Is he supposed to call the next day? Email? Do you give it that 3 day grace period? He mentioned he has a stressful job, what if you give him 4 days instead? What if he never calls? Dick!… I knew I should’ve never went out/slept with him (what?!…who said that)
Before you know it, you’ve had a full blown fight in your head and you haven’t even washed off your make-up.
This is what you should do to calm yourself down:
- Wash your make-up off
- Relax… if you had a genuinely good time…which is different than a drunkenly fun time, then chances are, he did too
- Think back, how did it end? Did he say he was going to call you? If he did, he will probably call you within a few days…note: I feel the older the age range, the sooner the guys call. Funny, looking back when I was in my early twenties, the 3 day rule was a given, but as the guys got older (because I got older), the ones that called, did so sooner. Older equals less games? What do you think? If he didn’t say he will call you, it’s a little strange…but still give it a few days
- Sorry, back to what you should do… Relax
- If he doesn’t send you a text seeing if you got home safely (which I never got by the way), or called/emailed/text the next day… don’t stress it
- If he does contact you, but only via text with a picture of his penis or a message saying how you have a sexy body and nothing else… delete this man from your mind and soul immediately (This applies to those looking for serious relationships. If you are looking for a booty call, then by all means…go at it)
- And of course relax, take a deep breath, and continue to date other people. One date does not signify exclusivity (especially in the online dating world). You can get a better idea of your commitment to eachother after at least a handful of good dates. Read more about it here
- Do you contact him? I never did, but I’m semi-oldschool. There are a few girls I know that contacted their date thanking them for the other night, etc. Don’t see the harm in that but prefer if the guy does the initial chasing. But then again, I never liked the “shy guy”. So really it’s up to you…however, if you receive no response within a few days…move on
All in all, enjoy the date for what it was which is just a really great date and if it happens it happens. If not, you were too good for him anyways.
PS: I really don’t think a guy should take more than 5 days to call you
PPS: If he said he was going to call you and he doesn’t…ever, don’t stalk him
PS to the PPS: Some guys are funny like that. You think they like you (because some even say they do), but never call you…that means they really don’t like you…don’t feel bad, you know you are guilty of the “faux like and ignore” as well. More about liking vs not so much here
Ladies, what do you think?
Guys, if you have a great date with a girl and like a girl, does it take longer than 5 days to make contact?
Would love to hear from you!
- That’s Not Okay, Cupid: Online Dating Seduction Fails (godlessgirl.com)
- Finding The Right One – Using DreamWork For Online Dating (dreamworkinsights.com)
- How do I do not worry so much about getting back into online dating? (ask.metafilter.com)
- Honest online daters (datingadviceonline.typepad.com)
- Single & Addicted to Dating (dating games…) (singleandexisting.com)
- You have fourteen new messages. (ask.metafilter.com)