Hello there! Let’s talk about goals. I feel as though many people that go out really have no set end goal in mind. Examples of this can be: I am looking for a long term relationship, I am looking for a husband, I am looking for a poly-amorous relationship, I am looking for a house boy. Whatever the goal doesn’t matter. However, the importance of having one is necessary.
I know, I know… there are many that go online just to “see what happens” and if someone comes along, great, but if not, oh well. Many daters seem to want their relationships to grow organically and … I couldn’t agree with you more!
Relationships should not be forced in any way, shape, or form to avoid combustion.
But having a general idea of what you want can only help you. For example, if you go online (or even on traditional dates) to find a partner/companion/sex slave…, without any idea of what you want for yourself in the future…what’s the point? Be honest with yourself. If you want a sexual relationship, nothing more… say that in your profile “not looking for a serious relationship but would like to have fun”. Please for the love of God, leave out “… would like to see where this could lead”. If you are truly looking for just sex, don’t wiggle the carrot to those looking for more.
If you are looking for a serious relationship and you meet one of those “oh, let’s just see what happens after we go back to my place” (after every single date for the past 6 months) types… you know very well that he/she is not up for anything more then a good lay. Which is fine, but do not think you can change them by being your wonderful self.
If you wind up getting involved with someone who clearly has different relationship goals in mind, move on.
That is why it only makes sense to, at the very least have an end goal in mind. So you at least know who doesn’t make the short list .
Things to take away:
- Set a relationship goal
- Stick to the relationship goal
- On your profile, do not say “I want a husband in 5 years”. *BUT* if you are interested in just a casual sex partner , write something like “looking to have a good time” (see the difference). If you want a serious relationship, you can usually tell by the first date or so whether or not your date wants the same thing
What are some experiences you had with online dating? Do you agree with the above? Why or why not?
Would love to hear from you!
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