Before there was online dating, there was… the guy you met at a bar

Hola!  Per my previous post, the “stalker” topic came up again.  Let me just say, stalkers come in all shapes, sizes, and economic background.  But they have one thing in common…creeeeepppppyyy.  This brings me back to one stalker in particular… Armando.

Bestie and I went to a Halloween party some years ago.  We were both single and looking, in the Meatpacking district (hotspot in downtown Manhattan).  It’s called the meatpacking district for two reasons… the more kosher being, it used to be an area that housed meat markets.  Now the area is crammed with lounges/ high end shops/ and bistros.  The less kosher reason will be left to your imagination.

Back to the Halloween party: we were hanging out, drinking, attempting to look sexy without coming off as trying to look sexy, when all of a sudden 2 guys approached us.  This is rare.  Normally, guys that we are somewhat interested in only look from afar.

We were elated.  The guy talking to me, Armando, whom I nicknamed Scorpio, because he happened to have a giant gold scorpion hanging on his neck, was the more aggressive of the two (which I’m kinda into).  He asked for my number after chatting up a bit.

Scorpio was a riot.  He was dressed as a guido from Long Island as a Halloween costume.  Between his scorpion necklace that was the size of an alarm clock hanging from his neck, white ribbed wife beater, fancy looking denim, and if memory serves me right, poofy vest with a fur collar, of course I said yes to a date!  How could I not with a sense of humor like that?

You like my necklace? Sweet right? I wear it cause I’m a Scorpio. Get it? … a scorpion cause I’m a Scorpio!

When he picked me up a few days later, I realized his outfit was not the costume I thought it once was.  He dressed like that all days of the year.  But this time he had on what looked to be fitted black satin pants with about 100 non functional zippers, a fresh wife beater, and a poofy jacket with a furry hood.  He also had on his scorpion necklace, which I later found out was worn to display his astrological sign “the Scorpio”.

Conversation throughout was ok, maybe cause I was a little tipsy which made it better.  However, after I noticed he only tipped the bartender 1 dollar on 2 drinks, I went from being not interested to not at all interested.  My lack of love only increased when he told me he lived at home, unemployed, and a recovering cocaine addict.

Please note, I am all about recovery and I applaud him for getting his life back on track but I have enough baggage of my own.  Why would I want any more?  And more importantly, why was he wearing satin pants with non functional zippers?  I admit I’m selfish and don’t want to invest time with a recovering anything (did I mention my ex was an addict…yeeesh).  Not about to repeat the dating cycle.

He began calling/texting non stop.  In fear, I ignored him.  He would eventually get the hint, right?  Not right.  He showed up at my job to eat with his male friend (his muscle)?  I used to work in a restaurant and unfortunately told him the name.  Scorpio was pissed, and let me know it (while downing a salad).  I pulled out the most desperate excuse of them all: “My ex and I are trying to get back together.”  My fake excuse worked… the stalking stopped.

Poor guy just wanted to know why I didn’t want a second date.

Here are some reasons online dating is better than meeting someone in a bar:

  1. You get to see your potential date in more than one outfit at a time so you don’t mistake their current outfit for a witty Halloween costume
  2. You generally find out what he/she does, or doesn’t do for a living via their profile
  3. You don’t have to say yes to the first cute guy/girl who approaches (even cute ones are crazy).  Instead, you have many to choose from with just a click of your fingers
  4. Your judgement is always better sober in your living room than drunk in a bar
  5. If you are clearly not interested… at least shoot the guy/girl a text saying so.  Trust me, you don’t want a stalker on your hands.  (This last tip is for both on and offline dating)

I know you have them… what are some of your stalker stories?  Any admitted stalkers out there?  Why do you do it?

Would love to hear from you!


9 responses to “Before there was online dating, there was… the guy you met at a bar

  1. Hilarious story!

    How did you even get to find out those things about Guido?

    Guys need to realize not all they should tell(drug history…).

  2. I can honestly say I’ve never really had a stalker situation. Usually when I get to a certain point with a guy where he’s just ridiculous and I can’t stand him, I tell him straight up or in the instances where I’m being timid, I just ignore him and he gets the hint. But it is interesting to read other people’s stalker stories!!! =)

  3. I’ve never quite had a stalker story, but I enjoyed reading yours!

  4. Pingback: Happy Halloween! | How to Online Date

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