Before there was online dating, there was… the office romance

PACCAR Financial - Online Services

Dang Mildred, you look hot in that lady suit…I want to rip it off of you with my teeth. But first, let’s finish this ppt or Gibson will have my ass. (Photo credit: TruckPR)

Hello hello!  I was brainstorming about what else to include in the “Before there was online dating….” series, and the light bulb hovering on top of my head lit up.

You know what’s coming, one of the most obvious yet most frequented faux pas.  It’s …the office romance.

Friends and family members have shared their traumatic stories with me regarding the office fling.  My ears perk up in horror, delight…sometimes due to the horror, and shame.  Not to be a priss miss, but I can honestly say that I’ve never, ever, hooked up with anyone I worked with.  Has no one heard the line “Don’t shit where you eat”?  This rule was created specifically for those thinking about getting involved in an office mingle.

Let’s take a scenario: you’re single, horny, and down on yourself because you have no one forced to tell you how gorgeous you are everyday (yes, I have rules at my house).  You’re in your cube when the hot new guy rolls up and starts chatting you up.  Before you know it, he visits your work pod everyday.  You begin flirting back and forth.  You go on long lunches which progress to happy hours.  Then you make out shamelessly under the “What did I do?  I was so wasted umbrella”.  That excuse may have worked once, maybe even twice.  But anymore than that and you know one of you starts developing puppy dog feelings for the other.

If you’re the weaker of the two, you will undoubtedly get hurt when you find out he’s gone to “happy hour” with a few other people.  You’re confused, ashamed, you thought you were meant to be because both of you like your bacon mushy instead of crispy and there can’t be more than two people in the world that like bacon the same way, right?  (true story a desperate soul once told me… I gave her a shrug and a look of bewilderment and sadness).  You begin stalking him and give dirty looks to his cuter “happy hour” companions.

If you’re the stronger of the two, you now have someone giving you death stares from across the office floor, sometimes in conference rooms during brainstorming meetings.  You begin to fear simple things like leaving a cup of coffee on your desk unsupervised and have a strong suspicion of “someone watching you” at all times.

Neither party wins.

Do not hook up with someone you work with because 9 times out of 10, it’s not your soul mate.  Instead, find your soul mate online.

Here are some reasons online dating is better than hooking up with someone at work:

  1. You do not have to air your dirty laundry to HR
  2. You can leave edibles on your desk unattended without fear of someone contaminating them
  3. You can make fun of your date the other night with your office mates without worrying the story will “get back to them”
  4. You can continue to think you are the best looking person in the building
  5. You can meet countless people on an online dating site that work in different offices other than yours

What are some office hook up stories you have?  Did it work out?  If not, how did it end?

Would love to hear from you!



8 responses to “Before there was online dating, there was… the office romance

  1. In secret agent school they always taught us never to fall in love with other agents unless you need codes or secrets from them. Sadly I had my heart broken to many times. I guess I had all the good codes…

  2. My dad lived with someone he worked with for like 8 years when I was a kid. They didn’t stay in the same job when they got serious though.

  3. katrillesmanydalliances

    This one actually made me laugh out loud. Good blog, will follow!

  4. Pingback: Don’t be that girl… the office hoochie | How to Online Date

  5. Pingback: What’s with the lack of personality in an online date? | How to Online Date

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