Hello there! I know I’m probably gonna get a lot of heat for this, but today’s blog topic is going to be… What’s with the ex on ex “friendship“? About half of my girlfriends (and some family members), cannot cut the proverbial relationship cord.
When a relationship ends, it’s usually difficult for at least one party. That person probably still harbors feelings for the other, or… wishes them bodily harm. Either way, relationships end for a reason. Yes, I am sure there are those of you who are very mature, “grew apart”, and parted amicably, but in all honesty… I don’t understand you.
Maybe it’s because I’m a grumpy 95 year old woman at heart who never uttered the words “let’s be friends” and meant it. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that none of my past relationships ended on friendly terms. There was a lot of cursing, slamming phones and car doors (usually not at the same time), and there was also the time I ran over someone’s bare foot… which was in the way of my cars front tire.
Anywho, even though I would never rekindle a past relationship with an old flame, I still would never want to hear about their positive dating escapades. The only thing I would want to hear … after wishing my ex “the best” of course, are negative dating escapades. Something like, “He is dating Sasquatch“. This information will be passed through a friend of a friends cousin because what do I care who my ex is dating, and will bring me oodles of joy.
Real friend’s wouldn’t want to hear that their buddy is dating Sasquatch. They would only want them to date supermodels that are part of Mensa and not as hairy (at least that’s what I wish for my close friends).
So those of you that are still friend’s with your ex, I feel it’s because you have an ulterior motive. It could be, you are secretly still in love and trying to get them back or maybe you are keeping them on the back burner in case no one better comes along. Please keep in mind I am not talking about couples who have children with one another. I think parents should at the very least stay civil for their children’s sake (if possible that is… other times it’s best to run, run far away, but that’s another story).
If you are still on friendly terms with an ex… why?:
- Do you really wish they find love with someone other than an unseen, yet frequently photographed wilderwoman?
- Do you wish them to fall in love, have babies, and roll naked in lots and lots of money without you? I just don’t get it.
- Don’t you think it’s more difficult for them (and you), to move on with your love lives and find another great somebody? It’s like mentally cheating if you are still friends.
- What would your new hubby think?
- Is new hubby ok with the friendly ex situation?
- How would you feel if they had a similar situation?
- What do you tell your ex, who is also your friend, if you have a date?
- Do you lie and say you are going out with “the girls” or do you tell them about the date?
- Are you perfectly honest and ask them for dating advise?
- Does your ex give you dating tips?
- Do you get mad at them for those dating tips and remember why you broke up in the first place?
- Is your ex now your bedroom buddy?
- Do you confront your ex if you see them on the same online dating site you are on?
- Do you “wink” at each other through that site?
- What if the online dating site says you are both 100% compatible?
- Do you reassess and do what the complicated love machine with genius like algorithms tells you to do?
Help me understand.
Note this is part I, part II will delve further into the shadowy world of exes.
Who out there has a friendly relationship with their ex? Do either of you have ulterior motives? Or do you truly wish each other the best? Who is as stumped by the friendly ex relationship as much as I am? Can anyone answer any of the above questions?
Would love to hear from you!
- Are They Really A Friend? (creativelybrownone.wordpress.com)
- What To Do When You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend (thoughtcatalog.com)
- 3 Things To Do When Your Friends Hate Your Boyfriend (welovedates.com)
- Why you were just ‘unfriended’ on Facebook (newscientist.com)
- Can Men and Women JUST Be Friends? | WeLoveDates (welovedates.com)
- How to preserve my friendship with an ex now that I’m involved with a new person? (ask.metafilter.com)
- A Kiss is Not Just a Kiss (socyberty.com)