Dating… realistic expectations

I guess he’ll do

Hi there!  In reading countless online dating profiles, I’ve noticed a trend that keeps rearing it’s ugly head: unrealistic expectations.  It’s great if you think you are the cat’s meow, but not everyone feels the same.  Today’s blog topic will hopefully help some of you tone it down a bit and help you find that nice, cushy, middle ground.

This is not limited to online daters.  I’ve come across plenty of people outside of cyberspace with ridiculous expectations as well.  Online profiles are just easier to address since their requisites are right there in black and white.  Let us look at some examples:

1) You are an attractive man who is a sales executive  You go online, looking for love and fill out the “about her” section a little too vigorously.

It’s ok to find someone similar to you in looks and background.

It’s not ok to limit yourself to CEO’s  in their late 20’s who read to the blind every other night, and model bikinis on the weekends.  I actually read a profile requesting that his “match” know at least 3 languages.  If that type of superwoman existed, what makes you think she would want to go out with you?

2) You are a professional basket weaver who is divorced with 3 kids under the age of 10 and not in the best shape of your life.

It’s ok to find someone similar to you in looks and background.

It’s not ok to only limit yourself to doctors and lawyers who have never been married (cause you don’t want to deal with that mess), and are child free (cause boo boo has to take care of you and yours only).

Over the years, I’ve ran into both men and women, that have unrealistic expectations of qualities they want in their future partner.  Ladies would tell me they wouldn’t go out on a second date with someone because there wasn’t an “instant spark” when they first laid eyes on the person.  I would look at them, confused and asked them to elaborate.  They would literally describe an actual “spark”.  Something that you only see in romantic comedies.  Say wha?  You are only limiting yourself to an ideal so ridiculous, it’s only played out in movie theaters.

Then I have guy friends obsessing over “naturally hot girls” who look like Barbie when they wake up.  They should be as close to being a virgin as possible yet miraculously able to recreate porn scenes without a hitch.  Of course, they also need to be multi-orgasmic and help the poor in their spare time.

The above sort of reminds me of an episode I saw on Millionaire Matchmaker.  Patti wanted to set up a millionairess who looked to be morbidly obese.  It didn’t help that her favorite color was pink and decorated her, everything, with Hello Kitty.  She felt her ideal match would be a Jewish Matthew Mcconaughey.  Somehow Patti worked her magic and found someone closely resembling him (although he wasn’t Jewish).  Patti also found another match not resembling Matthew at all.  He resembled a mob hitman but was very sweet and absolutely smitten with the millionairess on their mini-date.

Millionairess picked non Jewish Matthew.  On their date he asked for a hand job under the dinner table.  He also asked for a loan to start his business.  It was also later discovered millionairess brought him a motorcycle.  He rode off into the sunset never to be heard from again.

In closing, it’s great to feel confident, be confident, and have high expectations… but be realistic as well.  If you only limit yourself to supermodels, you better be a rock star.
Do any of you know someone who sounds like the above?  Do you tell them to simma down, or just mechanically nod your head?  Who saw the Millionaire Matchmaker episode?  Thoughts?  Are you someone like the above?  Is it working out for you?

Would love to hear from you!

*help me rule the world and follow me on twitter: @angiegomez1010 *


16 responses to “Dating… realistic expectations

  1. I always felt lucky if a woman accidentally brushed her foot against my leg during a dinner date, and this guy asked for what?

  2. I saw that episode!!!
    I have to at least feel physically attracted to a guy or there has to be something that stands out about him to see him again.

  3. I have been accused of also being too picky…but I don’t think wanting to be with someone who I find physically attractive and funny and who doesn’t treat me like crap to be unrealistic expectations… but I also haven’t seemed to be able to track down a man like that…so, maybe it is.

    But, I have recently taken to the online dating front…maybe I will have better luck there. Please feel free to check out my online dating adventures, and offer up any tips or techniques!! I think I will need them!! 🙂

    • absolutely…and that’s not asking for much at all! however, if he has to be a Mensa member who is a concert pianist by day and internationally published author by night all under the age of 35, that might be a bit much :o)

      Online is a much larger arena so you will up your chances of finding a good match. I’ll def check out your site!

  4. Excellent post and so true…

  5. Pingback: Forced relationships… are they worth it? | How to Online Date

  6. Being realistic applies to all facets of life, and especially when it comes to dating. A lot of it has to do with knowing yourself. I don’t think a lot of people do, nor do they know what they want. They’re influenced about what society says about what type/kind of person they should be with instead listening to their inner voice about what they really want.

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