To list or not to list…

Like I said, an angel made of glitter and buttercream frosting

Hi there!  When it comes to relationship experts, there are some who wholehearily believe in making a list while others treat it like a 4 letter word (which it is, but you know what I mean… a naughty 4 letter word).  List?  What list?  The one I am referring to, of course, is the relationship checklist.

Do any of you watch “Miss Advised” on Bravo?  In a nutshell, it’s a reality show.  One of the millions showcased on Bravo, which has become a reality television haven.  This show follows a sex radio-show host from San Francisco, a matchmaker from NY, and a relationship columnist from LA.

Coming from someone who missed about half the episodes, it seems like all three ladies have some sort of say on how to catch their perfect guy which may or may not involve a checklist.  They are all single.  I think they are still single.  It’s hard to tell with some of the previews.  Being that no one is really further than the other in a relationship, you can’t really say who is right or wrong based on their checklist opinion.

I myself used a checklist.  It was brief and included thing like “good family values” and “motivated”.  It also included “must be a few inches taller than me” and “good-looking”.  I’m only human.

But then I went back and underlined, or circled (the list was conceived many years ago), non-negotiables.  Non-negotiables are things that are an absolute must.   I underlined or circled “good family values”, “motivated”, and crossed my fingers when it came to the other stuff.

In short, a list can only help.  Think of it as Oprah’s Dream Board.  You know she is an angel made of glitter and buttercream frosting, so she can’t be wrong.

List tips:

  1. Write out a concise list however short or long you want
  2. Underline or circle, all the non-negotiables.  These are things that a potential match must have.  This means if an incredible drug dealer came along but “not a drug dealer” was one of your non-negotiables, you cannot overlook this fact and go out with him/her regardless of how incredible they are
  3. Cross your fingers, toes, and eyes for all the other stuff
  4. While your eyes are crossed, take a breath and realize that it is nearly impossible for everyone to meet 100% of what is on your list.  He/she may exist, but they are probably in a cave somewhere getting ready to be cloned by some foreign army since they are too perfect for the world.  If so, it is even less likely you will ever meet him/her
  5. Non-negotiables should be an attainable short list, ie: hair and eye color are prime examples of negotiables
  6. Uncross fingers, toes, and eyes and visualize this person
  7. If you haven’t had any luck with traditional dating, join an online dating site stat, and get to work

Pretend you’re a love Santa… make a list, check it twice, eliminate naughty and go out with nice… (oh yes I truly am that corny)

Have any of you used a list?  Did it work/ not work?

Would love to hear from you!

*help me rule the world and follow me on twitter: @angiegomez1010 *


4 responses to “To list or not to list…

  1. I don’t have physical a check list. There are verbal catch phrases on subjects that I hear and kind of check things of in my head. Like if a guy goes, “I’m close with my family,” as opposed to, ” I have two sisters, but they’re both bitches.” (Yes, a guy told me that. Yes, I never saw him again. Yes, that was my choice.) I check off in my head that he’s a family man. Well, I guess I do have a check list:)

    • hahaha…. i like how you came to that conclusion :o)

      started off with a mental list (like warning signs to beware of), then wrote it all down… guess it helped me focus a little better cause trust me, i needed all the help i could get!

  2. I think the list is about making sure you are clear about what you want. I did a short one once, as an impulse and then this guy came along and was my boyfriend for a few years! I should have added more things (I remember thinking, we are not together now). I then made a long ass list, over 200 things! And now I don’t remember what’s on it!

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