Relationship advice? Keep it to yourself!


Hey there!  How come we never listen to well-meaning friends and family members when it comes to relationship advice?  How many times did the sayings: “dump his ass!” or “ditch the bitch!” actually work?

Probably never.  In fact, these rants almost seemed to have the opposite effect.

It was almost like a strange mechanism located between your ear canal and brain would turn all negative relationship advice into positive feedback.

Here is an example of how it would work: 

  • What is said: “You gotta move on.  He’s a drug dealer!” 
  • Advice filter:  Beep ba beep bop ba boop (computing necessary changes)
  • What you hear: “Never let him go.  He’s an entrepreneur!”

See how that worked?

Chemicals in your brain would start turning your ugly jealous boyfriend who is bone thin, yet somehow has a pot-belly, into a “worldly” looking, admirer who thinks all other men want you.

Or how about the time you caught your jealous boyfriend in bed with another woman?  Your sister can shut the fuck up and her crazy talk about a cheater always being a cheater.  He was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing which made it a-ok.

You turn your morbidly obese, slightly balding, and overly opinionated girlfriend into a voluptuous independent woman who is not afraid to let you know how and when she likes things done …repeatedly.  Plus she has the most impressive hat collection you’ve ever seen.

Who cares what others think about your amazing relationship.  The friend that picked you up on the side of the road, in hysterics, and drinking a 40 out of a brown-paper bag the other night?  No way are you going to listen to her when she tells you she is concerned for your mental state.  What does she know?

Before it’s too late and the filter in your head grows and explodes, listen to your loved ones advice … especially if your entire inner clan are saying the same thing.

This is what you should do:

  1. Get a q-tip and clean out your ears (to diffuse verbal filter)
  2. Throw out the q-tip in the garbage
  3. Dump said asshole
  4. Join at least one online dating site
  5. Go on plenty of dates who don’t follow your exes negative qualities

Anyone ever listen to legit relationship advice?  How long did it take?

Would love to hear from you!

*help me rule the world and follow me on twitter: @angiegomez1010 *