Category Archives: Rants

Twitter fame

Hola!  Last night I was watching the latest reality show that sucked me in…maybe you’ve heard of it?  Hollywood Exes.  It’s about a group of women that were once married to famous men but are now divorced.  At least they named the show exes… which is a helluva lot more truthful than the Real Housewives franchise… where the majority of them are not wives.  I watch both.

This is what my life has become… sigh.

These reality mavens all have twitter accounts, some with hundreds of thousands of followers.  Apparently, I’m not the only one in the country being brainwashed.

Because I’ve been keeping up with the show, I, of course “follow” them on Twitter… I decided to tweet several of these ladies…. more than once. Just normal fan stuff… telling them how amazing they are, etc.  Nothing that creepy at all.

To my horror, they never wrote back.  Why do I care?  Why do I check for a “thank you” or retweet, and feel a bit of sadness when my status remains unchanged.  Is it my picture?  Do they not like my housewife status?  It must be because I write out the full “you” as opposed to the hipper “u”.

Then I started looking at people they retweeted and responded to.  These people have been elevated to a cooler status than I for whatever reason.  Maybe I should pretend it’s my birthday and ask for a retweet…daily.  I don’t think they’ll catch on if I use different pictures.

Some of the tweets people write are so cruel that it makes me think I’m the only one over 18 using Twitter.  Yet these people have a bajllion more followers than I’ll ever have.

Maybe I could increase my “following” by not only writing “u” but will change it to the even hipper version of “yuz” when speaking in plural and add things like “stab her in da face”, making that an intriguing “yuz shud stab her in da face”.  I think that will make me relevent enough for a retweet.

Sometimes I start second guessing my twitter skills and wonder if I’m using it correctly.

The only techy thing I seemed to have mastered is navigating through multiple online dating sites… sometimes simultaneously in various browsers.

This is probably because there is a legitimate purpose to online dating vs tweeting strangers that you are eating a hamburger.  Who can really say.

But when it comes to other forms of social networking… I’m not the most tech savvy person out there… heelllloooo… my WordPress pic (that I’ve grown to love), is of dewdrops on blades of grass because that was one of this sites’ template.

Could it be I’m sending all these messages to an unknown location in tweetsville versus the intended recipient?  I dunno.

I’m beginning to equate a twitter response to having a cute boy call me back for a second date.  Is my phone broken?  Maybe that’s why he’s not calling.

What I’ve learned:

  1. Watch someone enough on tv and you begin to think they are part of your actual life
  2. The above statement is scary
  3. Don’t take it personally if you don’t get a mention after you took the time to think of a witty, ego boosting, tweet
  4. I should soar my techy wings in online dating only and leave the rest to “yuz”
  5. Reality television really does brainwash you
  6. Guys who like you will tweet call
  7. Nicole Murphy doesn’t like me… even though I like her

Someone send for help if I start getting upset about Honey Boo Boo not tweeting me.

In dating, if a guy or girl likes you, they respond, right?  Right!

Who here is Twitter sensitive?  Am I overreacting?

Would love to hear from you!

*help me rule the world and boost my ego by following me on twitter: @angiegomez1010 *

Reasons you shouldn’t drink hard alcohol

“I’ll take a cup, Joe”

Hi there!  How was everyone’s weekend?  How was mine?  Glad you asked: Today’s blog topic will be on the evils of hard alcohol.  Friday night after a putting on a little make-up, I thought I looked like a supermodel.  Hubby and I went “downtown” for sushi, cause that’s what supermodels do.  After about a bottle of wine later (guzzled down by just yours truly), I had the urge to dance.  Looking all sexy in my head, we went to a hotspot and danced with the early 20 somethings.  Was that enough?  No.  I insisted we go to a neighboring club.

At the redrope, I told a giant bouncer I forgot my id (which I did), and he let me in no problem (maybe I looked like an old supermodel)?  Never the less, that didn’t deter me!  As soon as we got inside I told hubby to fetch me a shot of grey goose.  The bartender was generous and gave him a cup of vodka instead.  It felt just like the old days.  After gulp, gulp, gulping it up… I was on a roll!

Screw the wine, I wanted more shots.  Hubby put his foot down and managed to take his drunk wife back to the car, up the stairs, and straight to bed.  I am still recovering (on Monday).

Reasons you shouldn’t drink hard alcohol (straight, this doesn’t include a fruity cocktail):

  1. Hard alcohol (really any alcohol), makes you think you look sexier than you actually do
  2. Hard alcohol makes you think you are the best dancer in the world
  3. Hard alcohol makes you feel like you can read people’s minds
  4. Hard alcohol makes you want to have more hard alcohol (it’s like a vicious cycle)
  5. Hard alcohol stops feeling so luxurious as soon as you hit the open night sky
  6. Hard alcohol makes you look like fright-fest in the morning
  7. If you are no longer in your 20’s, hard alcohol takes days to get out of your system (no matter how much you pray)

Thank you hubby for not being scared of my face in the morning.

Anyone ever had a cup of vodka after a bottle of wine?  What happened?  What about any other hard shot stories… I know I can’t be the only one out there!

Would love to hear from you!

*follow me on twitter*

 

 

 

When friends of loved ones get too gross for comfort

Donald the Nose Picker

My head is itchy…think I’ll scratch it. (Photo credit: srcurran)

Hello!  So last night, hubby’s friend was in town and dropped by to say hi.  I have known him for what seems like forever.  Throughout the years I’ve seen him grow into the wonderful man he is today.  So when I came home last night… we

(hubby, friend, and I) were all in the living room shooting the breeze.  As in normal group conversations, sometimes I would talk to friend, then switch to talking with hubby, then friend and hubby would talk to eachother (promise I’m not referencing a threeway…dirty minds people).

When I started talking to hubby, I could see in my peripheral vision that friend was picking his nose.  Not just picking his nose, but scratching his forehead with his thumb through his nose.  I was appalled.  Do I call him out on it?  Do I simply pass him a tissue?  Do I stare at friend in hopes of him getting caught and his personal embarrassment ceasing his search and rescue?  About a million thoughts went through my head and all I can think to do was give hubby strange glances while nodding in the direction of his friend.

Did he take my what I thought to be obvious hint of hey, check out gold digger over there.  Do something about it!  No, of course he didn’t.  Hubby just chatted away while giving me strange looks himself as if we were in a facial expression face-off.  Throughout this exchange of facial muscles, friend kept digging.  And then he proceeded to ball up his finds and throw them on MY living room floor.  At this point I was about to vomit.  I stared at friends face praying he would turn around to see my disgust.  He never did.  So I said goodnight (no hugs were given).

As soon as hubby came to bed I verbally steamrolled him and asked why he didn’t interject with the picking.

me: Didn’t you see the faces I was making?
hubby: Yeah, I didn’t know what you were doing.  I thought you weren’t feeling well…looks at me with childlike big doe eyes
me: What?!…sigh

We fell asleep at 2am with promises of hubby confronting his friend and our new rule of: no boogers allowed on the floor.

This morning after vacuuming up debris, sanitizing everything friend touched, and feeling somewhat back to normal, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands…only to find that friend left me a little present in the bowl…sigh.

How do you handle unsavory habits of a friend’s friend?

Would love to hear your thoughts!